Filipino Beauty

Recently, there was a video released called 100 Years of Beauty: Philippines.  It has presented in the short video of under 2 minutes how the "concept of beauty" have evolved in the country to the present.

100 Years of Beauty - Episode 6: Philippines (April)

Just watching the video will just give you a glimpse of the what was and the what is.  So here is the link of the research behind the video: click here!

Filipinos have not always wanted to be whiter and in the present, it is not even the standard of beauty anymore.  Foreigners tend to generalize the way we see beauty based on the products in the market that they find - the whitening lotion, the whitening soap, the whitening pill, and all the whitening products.  It's like, "Yeah, all Filipinos want to be white like us."  But then, some foreigners want to be tanned or brown like us!  So what are we comparing here?

Some humans, if not most and if not all, have never been contented on what they are and have.  Brown wants to be white.  Short wants to be tall.  Small wants to be big.  And it goes on...

It might be true that some Filipinos are obsessed with their skin color to the point of taking whitening pills or paying for an expensive procedure in beauty clinics.  Again, not all.

So if you are looking for a normal soap, normal lotion, and normal things based on your standards, please bring them from your country so that you will not encounter being offered a whitening product.  But seriously, there are "normal" products in the Philippine market and I can assure you that.

Are you married?

No, I am not.

You might be a little bit shocked that, at times, small talk with some Filipinos start with personal questions like "Are you married?", "How old are you?", "Where are you going".  Well, the last one is not so personal --- more a security concern depending on whom you are talking to.  But why is it like that?

These questions are not only for you, these questions get thrown to us, Filipinos, too.  This might be just mere honest curiosity and are asked with the aim to befriend you.

Most Filipinos would consider you as their friend as soon as they get your name and have exchanged a short conversation with them.  And to know a friend, they ask these "personal questions" which based on western standards (I am not sure about the rest of the world).  After this short conversation, you might get invited to a fiesta, party or dinner.

Filipinos are very accommodating and hospitable (I will have something more on hospitality later).  These guest-friendly Filipinos want their new friends to feel comfortable.  I guess here are the reasons for asking the following personal questions:

1.     How old are you?

They like knowing your age then say, "oh, my daughter is your age, how nice."  This can be considered rude but Filipinos will not be discriminating you because of age if you are a traveler (it is a different story with work, I'll discuss it later).  Asking for the age is something of a go-to conversation starter.

If you get asked by (older) people and if you are just 25 years old or a bit older, you will be ask if you are married.

2.     Are you married?

They won’t ask to marry you immediately when you answer “no”, so don’t worry!  But then when you answer yes and you are traveling alone, they will ask where your better half is followed by asking you how many kids you have.

Family is central to most Filipinos.  At a certain age, one is expected to be married already.  However, this might not be something that the current generation shares.  People my age don’t get married as early as in the past.  Ten (10) years ago, average age for marriage was 25, I believe.  Since some Filipinos still consider having a family of your own essential, they might show concern if you are not yet married at 30.

This is still related to the importance given to family.  Living alone in the Philippines can be considered leading a lonely life.

Filipinos live together with family and/or friends as long as they could and the only time to move out (or bring more in) is when one gets married.

3.     How many sibling do you have?

Again, family is important.  Community too.  So, if you say that you are an only child that would be probably followed by a comment like, “Aw, that’s a sad life” which is not necessarily true.  Again, family or community is central.  No one should be alone as it would mean lonely. 

4.     Where are you going (next)?

They might just want to give you tips for your next destination. 

Or, again, just simply curious.  Some people I know have not even left their islands and never plan to explore what’s on the other shore.  The concept of traveling is something the current generation has subscribed to.

5.     When are you going back to your country?

You’ve just arrived in the Philippines but you get asked that.  Don’t get offended.  It just probably means that they would like you to stay longer or even forever.

You will usually get a list of things to do and try.  They just want you to maximize your time here and that you will enjoy it.

6.     What’s your religion?

  Catholics still has the biggest share in the country but we do have most, if not all, religions.  You do not have to answer this one if you don’t want to.  I always answer that I’ve none.  In the past, it would be difficult to explain and some people will not let go of you until they convince you that they belong to the “right” religion and you should join, too.  Now, it’s not much of a big deal as per my experience. 

Filipinos mean well when they ask you these personal questions BUT don’t get too lax.  Think about your safety, as well.  Filipino’s hospitality has been overrated and some people have used that to take advantage of some foreigners.  There are good Filipinos as there are also bad.  Just don’t be too paranoid!

What are the questions that you get frequently asked and would like to just find out why?

Filipino Time is Always on Time

"Filipino Time is Always on Time" is a slogan you will sometimes see in government offices to counter the ingrained belief that Filipinos are always late as defined in some dictionaries like the Urban Dictionary.

This might have some truth in it.  I grew up hearing about Filipino time but I grew up with a strict father and I am very rarely late (only when there are emergencies or I just got lost) since I was in first grade.

To put some context into it, imagine living in Metro Manila - I can't anymore.  The metro has the densest population in the country and in the world.  Commuting in Metro Manila is a nightmare and to go from point A to B would take an hour at the minimum even if it is just about 5 kilometers away.  I believe we always try to be on time but there are just these hindrances and most of these are systemic and something we can't do something immediately about.  This is no alibi but you might ask, why not live near the place of work --- rents in the business districts are comparable or even higher than in Europe.  For a simple accommodation in Makati, 300Euros is already cheap.  To give you more context, a customer service representative earns an average of 370Euros a month* so they endure the four (4) hours or more commute to and from work each and every single work day!

And Mr. Jef Menguin shares:

"Filipino Time as the phrase connotes is not an attribute that all Filipinos practice and value. A little reading of Philippine history will show the opposite. Travel around the country, and you will find many Filipinos who value their time and respect yours."

Filipino time was something taught in my grade school.  I clearly remember how our teacher told us about the attitudes of a Filipino.  Practicing Filipino time is one of them in like with the Mañana Habit and taking Siestas which are something we got from the Spaniards.  Any spanish here?  How is meeting in Spain, do you come on time and if not, for how many hours later?

It is not innate with Filipinos to be always late but it is something that we are made to believe as one of our main charateristics.  Going back to grade school, the books we've used then taught us how awful Durian is.  It is the King of Fruits which is enjoyed by lots of South East Asians.  Most Filipinos hated it even if they have not even seen it but it was described as foul-smelling and with its creamy flesh it was always compared to poop.  I hope you are getting where I am going with this.

Let's try posting more "Filipino Time is Always on Time" to re-educate our people and set a good example to the next generations.

*50Php = 1Eur

Arriving on the Islands

Days or weeks before you leave your home country, you were trying to get some information on what to expect in the Philippines.  Some people you know who have traveled there have told you stories how it is "more fun in the Philippines".  Then you start imagining yourself in a tropical island, drinking your mango juice and surrounded by happy Filipinos - this is how I think people would imagine their trip to the Philippines.

You have all these sources of information like the Lonely Planet on what to expect.  The take-aways are always the following:

• Filipinos have less to no sense of time - talk about Filipino time
• Filipinos will ask you personal questions the first second they meet you - our way of small talk
• Filipinos will force you to sing and eat Balut - the way we socialize
• Filipinos want to be white - our concept of beauty
• Transport in the Philippines is annoying - we have one of the worst airports in the world

And many other things.  I don't totally agree nor disagree on those things listed above.  What I want to drive at is the understanding of the context why those things are how they are.

Those five listed things above are just for starters.  I would be willing to discuss other topics that might be interesting for you - just drop me a note. 

I also want to remind you that this is an open discussion.  It is for the foreigners to understand the Philippines and its people and also for the Filipinos to understand their context which is much needed as most of us will just accept the stereotypes and the generalizations of other people.